Low riders? REALLY?

I had the rare opportunity to drive on our fine Los Angeles freeways today. And I would like to take this chance to share some observations with you.

Why is there always one shoe on the freeway? How do you lose a shoe? I am not sure how this happens. Do people stick their feet out of the window and lose a shoe? Or are there a lot of one-legged people running around out there with no need for the other shoe so they throw them out of the car window????

Also, I noticed lots of rolls of carpet and other flooring material on the freeway. There was carpet pad, a box of tile, old carpet.....what is that all about? I mean, how can you LOSE A ROLL OF CARPET? They're kind of big? I mean, what would happen if you were driving down the road and a roll of carpet was barreling down the road towards you? HOLY SHIT that would be not good!

Mini vans....no matter what....are not cool. I see these mini vans (specifically Chevy Astrovans and GMC Safaris) with lowered wheels that stick out and like $1000 rims that continue to move when the car is stopped. Uhhhhh......maybe someone should tell these people that expensive pimped out rims aren't going to divert the eyes from the different colored door and the missing head light. No matter how many gold accents are put on the car, I still know that it is a piece of shit....the huge crack in the windshield tells me that. Is there anywhere that car is cool? Seriously....when you turn your car on and there is a blue puff of smoke that comes out of the tailpipe (which is holding on with a wire hanger, BTW) perhaps investing a little money in the running of your car instead of a gold plated marijuana leaf or electric blue undercarriage lighting, eh?

And, here's a question for the brainiacs......so Los Angeles just passed a law that you can only talk on your cell phone in the car if you have a hands free kit. Fair enough, we want you to pay attention to the road and not be fumbling with the phone. So, how do the signs that read "Dial 911 to report accidents" and "remove accidents from road (DUH)" supposed to work out for us? And the personalized license plates and dumb ass bumper stickers??? While I am busy trying to figure out how to work the damn head set and decipher the license plate in front of me, I may crash all the same.....RIGHT? I say, you can't do anything in the car but drive, and maybe the occasional fast food frenzy would be okay.......