The Speech......

I went to my big brother's wedding....and gave a toast. I didn't have the presence of mind to have it recorded, so I want to share it all with you here.

"My big brother just got married! Wow--- Steve, I wanted to thank you for bringing Laura into our family. I couldn't ask for a better sister...I love you. Laura, thank you for choosing and loving my brother- it's a tough job but someone's gotta do it!

Steve has changed a lot over the past ten years. He finally graduated college....and in just a shade under a decade too.....alright! And no, he's not a doctor, he's an engineer. We always knew that he would be an engineer, but his fate was cemented when he fashioned a little hand held battery operated fan out of spare household parts and and old erector set for the express and sole purpose of blowing his farts into my face. It was a life changing experience to be seven and trapped in a small car during the ride to school in winter time and having to make a choice between freezing to death by opening a window or suffocating to death by holding my breath.

When Steve finished college, he lost a staggering amount of weight, which amazes and inspires me. Then he did what every red blooded American engineer would do, decided to find a wife. And then he met Laura. Since he has met Laura, he has surprised me with his kindness, generosity and friendship. I mean, where is the big brother I grew up with? This was a kid who would hoard all of his allowance and birthday money so he could buy things like remote control cars and every gaming system from Atari to the Playstation. I would save my money for as long as possible, but Steve always managed to guilt me into buying HIM Wolverine man because he comes with bendable elbows and a personal hovercraft and stupid barbie has none of that. Because I loved my brother, I did, time and time again, what any good sister would do after being promised play dates and love forever, I bought him Wolverine man, and many many others. The play dates...never happened.

Steve is the smartest person I have ever met in real like. His Rainman like instant recall of everything from Seinfeld Trivia to the principles of Quantum Physics never cease to amaze me. As a matter of fact, I am confident Steve is the only person who can make The Hot Tub Time Machine come to fruition. And I am going to use it to go back to 1984 and this time I am getting cowgirl barbie who winked at you when you pushed the button on her back and was well dressed with her amazing boots and fully bedazzled cowgirl outfit with the pleather fringe. Sorry Steve- no Wolverine for you!

In closing, I would like to impart some pearls of wisdom that I learned while I was married. Okay, so I probably didn't learn these during my five minutes of wedded bliss but instead from my parents....who have been married....to eachother...for 40 years.

Steve and Laura, as you begin your life together:
-Laugh together
-Cry togethert
-Dream together
-Inspire eachother
-Accept eachother
-Support eachother
-Forgive eachother
And finally, Love eachother...always....as you do today.

Steve and Laura, I am so very happy for you both and I love you. Salud"