Ode to a motorcycle

I love to ride on motorcycles. There is nothing that can make a girl feel sexier than hoping on the back of a bike with a hot guy at the wheel. There is something very feminine, while still being a little dangerous. I have no desire to learn to drive one, but I will take every chance I get to take a ride on one.

And one so opportunity came upon me at my brother's wedding. Let me set the scene so everyone can appreciate the event. Most of you know that I have been unemployed for the past 2 months (though I now have a job, a horrendous commute and a start date of Tuesday, Sept. 7). Unemployment doesn't agree with me, as I didn't take the time off to do all of the things I can't do while working such as writing my novel, running a marathon...that type of thing. The only marathons I was involved in were Real Housewives of New Jersey and reruns of Golden Girls and Roseanne. While participating in those marathons I can't be held responsible for the thousands and thousands of calories I consumed. So I put on a little weight. Okay, I put on a lot of weight. So going stag to my brother's wedding in a dress that fit me great about 15 pounds ago and with enough spandex holding my tummy and ass in place to choke Godzilla I was feeling a little down; and uncomfortable--when your underwear cuts off the circulation in your legs, something has to change. I did what every red blooded American girl would do when feeling overly single, fat and unattractive..I decided to boost my self esteem with liquid courage.

My sister in law had been telling me about this friend of hers. He's an old family friend who she has known forever, he's in school to be an engineer and he's good looking, nice, charming, smart. Against my better judgement, I let Laura and her mother, Geri, introduce me to Nathan. Wow- they were right! He was very sweet, if not a little shy. He was a great dancer, seemed to be having a lot of fun. Drink after drink I found myself gravitating to him, mostly because he seemed to be the only other single person there. As the night wore on, we danced, and I drank. We really didn't get to talk all that much, because the music was loud and everyone was enjoying the party. Apparently I enjoyed the party quite a bit- there's a photo of me with my best friend's husband and I am smoking a cigar! Don't worry- I have known John for about a zillion years- we go way back...and since I introduced John to Allison, I figured he and I could dance, laugh, fall down (thanks for pulling my dress back down!)

At this point in the evening, the elders began to leave. The party was just beginning. Most of the girls, including myself, had taken shoes off and were having a more comfortable time. I put my purse....somewhere, and my shoes were somewhere....but after several cocktails, I really didn't care about the necessities of cell phones and shoes.

And then it happened. Nathan told me he has a motorcycle. OMG...this was the best thing that I could have heard. So he offers to take me on a ride, which I gladly accepted. If you are looking at Steve and Laura's wedding photos, the last one is of me, on the back of the bike, about to go for a ride. I wasn't sure what time it was, but when Nathan said he wanted to take me for a ride who was I to refuse? So I hop on the bike with Nathan, and all of my insecurities seemed to fade away, if only for a few hours. Me, Christine Andrews, was leaving a wedding to go for a ride with a smart and gorgeous ex navy sailor to go on a motorcycle ride. Off we went. The air blew through my hair and I shivered against the cold of the night, but I just pressed myself closer to Nathan and he revved the bike and faster we went.

I didn't think that we were gone that long- but soon enough we decided to return back to the wedding. We pulled up to the club where the wedding was held only to find it completely closed up. No lights, no cars in the parking lots, nothing. It was almost like the twilight zone. And here I was, no shoes, no cell phone, no ID, no money, no nothing (pardon the double negative) save for the thrill of a motorcycle ride and the incredible feeling that I might not be as fat and unattractive as I first thought. What craziness......suffice it to say, we took another ride and found a hotel to crash at. I didn't want to make him take me all the way back to my parents house....because it was my PARENT'S house....and it was late and we were exhausted. He wasn't from the area either, so he didn't have a place to bring me, so the hotel was a logical choice.

In the morning, when I finally woke up from my liquor induced sleep, I had to figure out what the hell to do next. I didn't want him to take me home, to my PARENT'S house because it was a long way, I didn't have any shoes, and I was still trying to shake off about 11 scotch and waters from the night before so my stomache was less than settled. So I jammed myself back into all the spandex filled underwear and made the call of shame. I called my dad. I was 33 and was calling my daddy to come pick me up. Even with that humiliation, the evening was a total success. Thanks to a very sweet guy with a motorcycle, I spent a few hours feeling wanted, sexy, free spirited. For even a short while I wasn't panicked about my job, why I lost the last one or how the next one will treat me; I wasn't feeling sorry for myself because I have had a bit of a rough year; I wasn't feeling unworthy of a motorcycle ride. When he drove faster, I clung tighter to him and let him be the man while I was the sexy bitch on the back of his hog. And so I close Ode to a motorcycle with a thanks to Nathan for a fun night and for making me feel beautiful, if only for a couple of moments......