3 in 12

About to be unemployed.....again....sort of.....maybe.....

What are the chances? Let's review, shall we? I started the year at Maguire Properties working for one of the worst bosses I have ever had, in one of the worst environments I have ever experienced. But, it paid the bills. Truth be told, when my boss stepped down and eliminated my position, I was happy. I was miserable at that job and acted in ways that I am not proud of things I did while there. So, I was relived when unemployment found me. I had done everything right- had money saved, and knew that I would land on my feet.

Two months later, I landed the best job ever. I have spent the past few months with this current company, and for the best boss I have ever had. I love the people who are there, I have a great boss who actually realizes that I have a brain in my head. I feel like I am important, like I matter, like I can do good things there. But, the company is unable to come to terms on some loan, so I am back to being unemployed (I think). The big boss people are coming out tomorrow to have a meeting with us...this will be very interesting. They will stand in front of us all and let us know that we are all about to be unemployed in the worst time of year in the worst economy that this country has seen since the 1930's. YAY!

Luckily, my boss has put me in touch with someone else who says he wants to hire me. This will be good- the 3rd job in 12 months. Wow. So, naturally I was a little bit of a mess last week. WTF- another job. I have done all the right things, gone to school, work hard (most of the time); am reasonably smart, loyal (I worked at Home Depot for almost 8 years for God's sake); and here I am about to find myself in the pink slip line again.

I took inventory- I am 30 pounds overweight, seemingly only able to attract men who are significantly older than me who have unnatural closeness with their sisters and who are unable to make more than $28k a year, have few friends even though I am really funny, lost several people very close to me in the last few years, parents on the verge of bankruptcy and divorce....so I got all that going for me. But alas, I have a brand new Truffle Shuffle shirt which gets me through all these cold, lonely nights. I am not being held captive on an oil tanker hijacked by Somali Pirates (this shit just happened) and to the best of my knowledge am healthy. I say that because I don't have health insurance (I am 9 days away from benefits at the job that I will be losing on Monday; can you believe that???). But I look for the positive in my life-- there is no tumor- that I am aware of and I truly believe that ignorance is bliss. I also think that there may be a man out there who can appreciate my ability to beltch the alphabet and who will enjoy that extra 30 pounds of Blubber- more to hold on to, right???

I am keeping my chin up, if only to avoid showing people my double chin. I am going into the office tomorrow to be laid off with pride. I wish I had a shirt with Dwight on it... that would be cool. I guess my Sloth shirt will have to do. I shouldn't' be required to dress up for a lay off, right?