This may seem a strange detour from my regular rants and observations, but I would like a moment to tell those involved in the Sister Wives drama from TLC, that I support you. I may not agree with the lifestyle, but lets be fair about it, there are a lot of life styles that I do not agree with.
I have watched the Sister Wives show, and while the notion of polygamy is not a notion that rests well with me, and is nothing that I would ever chose, I can't help but see that the people within the Brown family seem to be happy. They are not hurting anyone, they are very honest with their children and the choices of their lifestyles. When they interview the children some say they are not interested in that lifestyle, and some say that they are; but I am proud and happy to see that the parents seem to support the wants and desires of their children. I do not see anyone in need; I do not see anyone forced to be in any controlling situation or anything that can be perceived as a controlling situation. The babies are born to 2 consenting adults, there are no arranged marriages, there are no children living an impoverished life where they are malnourished or taught that they must to everything and anything that the Lord tells them to do. This family strikes me as a family with a moral compass and who genuinely want to be together.
I think we need to step back and realize that so long as two adults are consenting to enter into a marriage, what is the harm? Divorce, adultery, abortion, bankruptcy, morally compromised behaviors all seem to get through our radars, but then you have a family who would like to share their lifestyle so to not have to raise their children in a dichotomy- open and happy at home, but secretive and lying to the rest of the world. We will throw money at a 13 year old who ends up being pregnant because we, as a society, understand that the best possible future for her and her baby, is to be supported financially and that the mother be able to be a good mother and go to school to make a good life for her child. We cheer when that mother graduated high school, yet we are ready to villainies the Brown family for living a life they all ( the consenting adults in the situation ) believe is morally acceptable for them.
Who am I to judge? Who are you to judge?
I may never meet another man. I may never be in love, or married, or in a family. But I know that I would rather fight for all of the people who have a family to that that family recognized by law. These are fundamental rights for anyone, and I hope the Brown Family finds a strength in their God and can fight the good fight, because it it right.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Irony isn't just what you do to wrinkly pants.....
It's been two months since my last post, and I owe everyone an apology. Thank you for finding the courage and the strength to soldier through all those days without my humor and wit to light your path.
Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about how ironic life can be. Let me share with you a couple of my observations.
This is NOT an invite to chime in with your opinions about health care and whether or not it should be public or private. I just would like to point out some of the inconsistencies of the current programs. I have health insurance through work-and I am grateful for that. But I find it very interesting that when I need to fill a prescription, I have to pay $10 for the copay. Which, on the surface, would be fine; except for the fact that my Ambien only costs me $3.00. So by my estimation my insurance company is more vested in my sleeping a full night than not getting pregnant? And, my Xanax is $5- so again- my insurance would rather I be calm and asleep than pregnant- gauging by the costs of things.
And then, I get a cold sore. I am plagued with cold sores when I get stressed out, too tired, or someone looks at me strangely. Cold sores are not only painful and really ugly, and impossible to cover with make-up (have you ever tried to put power on an oil slick and make it blend in?) but they are ugly and contagious. So the prescription only cream that helps them go away isn't covered by my health insurance at all- so it costs about $95 for a tube of cream as big as Abreva (which is $20 a tube and doesn't work all that well). Wow- first, why do I need a prescription for a cream. Is it addictive? does it have a high value on the black market? What's the deal with that? No I can't get cold medicine without showing my ID and I can't afford the prescription cream for the cold sores that I get, but I can get 30 xanax for $5. Strange?
I watch the women in my city, the women on TV (even "reality" tv) and combined, they all weigh less than my left leg. I am not thin, I am chubby, or a little fat (if you want to be a dick about it) but my doctors and all of the charts and professionals always tell is that being 15 pounds over weight is better than being 15 pounds underweight. In theory, I should be good.....yet everytime I go to a store, even though I haven't gained any weight, the size of pants that fit me before are now too small. I am convinced that they are just making the sizes different. what used to be a 10 is a 12 and will soon be a 14. 14 is now considered "plus size" where as before it wasn't until size 18 or more. When I was younger the size zero was hard to find (I know, how the hell would I know- is that even a size); and then there were some size 2, and some size 4, but 6 was pretty much the smallest. Remember Pretty Woman telling "Brig" in the first store she got the black dress in that she was a size 6? That was 20 years ago girls---- now she would be a size 2 or smaller. I wonder when there will be negative sizes? Maybe rather than being called negative sizes they will be called "the Leanne Rimes" or the "Nicole Richie" or "Herione Whore" (Heroine Sheik, REALLY Gucci? Heroine is not Sheik!!!!)
I have been told on numerous occasions that I use too many big words and that the lay-person has a hard time following some of my conversations. Since when is idyllic a hard word to understand? HEH? Catastrophic should not be a word that pauses a conversation....and though the act of flatulence can sometimes not only pause a conversation put clear a room, the meaning of the word should not be lost on people. For anyone who doesn't understand the word...I flatulate on you.
And finally... is it ironic that we live in such a health conscience country that the calorie count is now labeled on the individual items on the drive thru menu at Wendy's? Yet this is the same country that has a fast food restaurant advertising a 50 piece McNugget meal for $10 (I think that's the price). An avocado sells at Ralphs for about $1.50o-$2.00 A PIECE. I can get 4 boxes of mac and cheese for that. Milk now costs almost $5 a gallon....but I can get a 12 pack of soda for $4.00 and the soda doesn't spoil. Fresh spinach sells for about $4.00 in one of those pre-cleaned packages; I can get 2 boxes of pop tarts for the same amount of money- and once again I notice that the pop tarts don't spoil and you don't even have to cook them.
Ironic-- right?
Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about how ironic life can be. Let me share with you a couple of my observations.
This is NOT an invite to chime in with your opinions about health care and whether or not it should be public or private. I just would like to point out some of the inconsistencies of the current programs. I have health insurance through work-and I am grateful for that. But I find it very interesting that when I need to fill a prescription, I have to pay $10 for the copay. Which, on the surface, would be fine; except for the fact that my Ambien only costs me $3.00. So by my estimation my insurance company is more vested in my sleeping a full night than not getting pregnant? And, my Xanax is $5- so again- my insurance would rather I be calm and asleep than pregnant- gauging by the costs of things.
And then, I get a cold sore. I am plagued with cold sores when I get stressed out, too tired, or someone looks at me strangely. Cold sores are not only painful and really ugly, and impossible to cover with make-up (have you ever tried to put power on an oil slick and make it blend in?) but they are ugly and contagious. So the prescription only cream that helps them go away isn't covered by my health insurance at all- so it costs about $95 for a tube of cream as big as Abreva (which is $20 a tube and doesn't work all that well). Wow- first, why do I need a prescription for a cream. Is it addictive? does it have a high value on the black market? What's the deal with that? No I can't get cold medicine without showing my ID and I can't afford the prescription cream for the cold sores that I get, but I can get 30 xanax for $5. Strange?
I watch the women in my city, the women on TV (even "reality" tv) and combined, they all weigh less than my left leg. I am not thin, I am chubby, or a little fat (if you want to be a dick about it) but my doctors and all of the charts and professionals always tell is that being 15 pounds over weight is better than being 15 pounds underweight. In theory, I should be good.....yet everytime I go to a store, even though I haven't gained any weight, the size of pants that fit me before are now too small. I am convinced that they are just making the sizes different. what used to be a 10 is a 12 and will soon be a 14. 14 is now considered "plus size" where as before it wasn't until size 18 or more. When I was younger the size zero was hard to find (I know, how the hell would I know- is that even a size); and then there were some size 2, and some size 4, but 6 was pretty much the smallest. Remember Pretty Woman telling "Brig" in the first store she got the black dress in that she was a size 6? That was 20 years ago girls---- now she would be a size 2 or smaller. I wonder when there will be negative sizes? Maybe rather than being called negative sizes they will be called "the Leanne Rimes" or the "Nicole Richie" or "Herione Whore" (Heroine Sheik, REALLY Gucci? Heroine is not Sheik!!!!)
I have been told on numerous occasions that I use too many big words and that the lay-person has a hard time following some of my conversations. Since when is idyllic a hard word to understand? HEH? Catastrophic should not be a word that pauses a conversation....and though the act of flatulence can sometimes not only pause a conversation put clear a room, the meaning of the word should not be lost on people. For anyone who doesn't understand the word...I flatulate on you.
And finally... is it ironic that we live in such a health conscience country that the calorie count is now labeled on the individual items on the drive thru menu at Wendy's? Yet this is the same country that has a fast food restaurant advertising a 50 piece McNugget meal for $10 (I think that's the price). An avocado sells at Ralphs for about $1.50o-$2.00 A PIECE. I can get 4 boxes of mac and cheese for that. Milk now costs almost $5 a gallon....but I can get a 12 pack of soda for $4.00 and the soda doesn't spoil. Fresh spinach sells for about $4.00 in one of those pre-cleaned packages; I can get 2 boxes of pop tarts for the same amount of money- and once again I notice that the pop tarts don't spoil and you don't even have to cook them.
Ironic-- right?
Friday, April 22, 2011
Top ten crimes against Christine that SHOULD be punishable by death
There are some grievances, that when committed against me, should be immediately punishable by death. That being said, I think it is only fair that I make a list of these crimes as a fair warning.
In true Letterman fashion:
10. Using the "word" "irregardless". No better litmus test of someone's IQ than if he or she uses irregardless in every day conversation. Punishable by manila folder papercutting to death.
9. Their and there-- they're not the same. Not now, not ever. Punishable by watching 7 Years in Tibet until you actually die of boredom.
8. A solid double yellow line means YOU CANNOT TURN HERE. It doesn't matter if there is a Whole Foods that you must get into; it doesn't matter that "it's a victimless crime". When I miss the 3 second left turn signal window because you have to get to Whole Foods and to do that you have to cross the double yellow line, I am the victim. Punishable by listening to a screaming baby until you are forced to jump off of a tall building.
7. While I feel there is a conspiracy in the greater Los Angeles area controlled by the painters union which has explicitly instructed all parking spaces to diminish in size by 1/4 of an in each year with the sole intention of pissing me off, that does not excuse people who drive SUV's to park in these spots next to my car (in particular when there are 38 other open spots a mere 10 feet away). Compact is compact, and it is not a matter of opinion. Punishable by seclusion in a toothpaste colored 1989 Ford Tempo in the WEHO Target parking garage on a humid day.
6. Taking up both spaces at the gas station when there is enough room for two people to fill up their cars at the same time. Enough said. Punishable by drinking the gasoline for which you made me wait.
5. When I am on the phone with someone, I try to have a conversation with only that person. If you can't talk with me without being interrupted, and having ten other conversations with other people while on the phone with me, let's not talk on the phone. Punishable by being glued to a public pay phone in downtown LA.
4. I counted 17 Landrovers during a 4 mile drive yesterday. 17.....anyone who buys a Landrover should be taken out back and run over 1000 times by a Landrover. And LANDROVERS ARE NOT COMPACT.
3. When I order chicken nuggets with ranch sauce, I would appreciate my ranch sauce. When I order a Diet Coke, I don't mean a Diet Pepsi, and they are not the same. For those who can't get these simple orders correct, punishment is death by drowning- in Diet Pepsi and BBQ sauce.
2. Lindsay Lohan. She is a crime against not only Christine, but against humanity. Punishable by being linked surgically to Lindsay Lohan for the remainder of your lives.
And the number one crime against Christine that should be punishable by death is.....
1. The non-useage of turn signals, in any and all circumstances when one needs to turn. Punishment is death by a swift knuckle punch in the larynx, blissfully delivered by yours truly.
In true Letterman fashion:
10. Using the "word" "irregardless". No better litmus test of someone's IQ than if he or she uses irregardless in every day conversation. Punishable by manila folder papercutting to death.
9. Their and there-- they're not the same. Not now, not ever. Punishable by watching 7 Years in Tibet until you actually die of boredom.
8. A solid double yellow line means YOU CANNOT TURN HERE. It doesn't matter if there is a Whole Foods that you must get into; it doesn't matter that "it's a victimless crime". When I miss the 3 second left turn signal window because you have to get to Whole Foods and to do that you have to cross the double yellow line, I am the victim. Punishable by listening to a screaming baby until you are forced to jump off of a tall building.
7. While I feel there is a conspiracy in the greater Los Angeles area controlled by the painters union which has explicitly instructed all parking spaces to diminish in size by 1/4 of an in each year with the sole intention of pissing me off, that does not excuse people who drive SUV's to park in these spots next to my car (in particular when there are 38 other open spots a mere 10 feet away). Compact is compact, and it is not a matter of opinion. Punishable by seclusion in a toothpaste colored 1989 Ford Tempo in the WEHO Target parking garage on a humid day.
6. Taking up both spaces at the gas station when there is enough room for two people to fill up their cars at the same time. Enough said. Punishable by drinking the gasoline for which you made me wait.
5. When I am on the phone with someone, I try to have a conversation with only that person. If you can't talk with me without being interrupted, and having ten other conversations with other people while on the phone with me, let's not talk on the phone. Punishable by being glued to a public pay phone in downtown LA.
4. I counted 17 Landrovers during a 4 mile drive yesterday. 17.....anyone who buys a Landrover should be taken out back and run over 1000 times by a Landrover. And LANDROVERS ARE NOT COMPACT.
3. When I order chicken nuggets with ranch sauce, I would appreciate my ranch sauce. When I order a Diet Coke, I don't mean a Diet Pepsi, and they are not the same. For those who can't get these simple orders correct, punishment is death by drowning- in Diet Pepsi and BBQ sauce.
2. Lindsay Lohan. She is a crime against not only Christine, but against humanity. Punishable by being linked surgically to Lindsay Lohan for the remainder of your lives.
And the number one crime against Christine that should be punishable by death is.....
1. The non-useage of turn signals, in any and all circumstances when one needs to turn. Punishment is death by a swift knuckle punch in the larynx, blissfully delivered by yours truly.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Balloons
Reality TV has reached the edge of the cliff.....and leapt off.....
Or did it?? The Unpoppables. According to the TLC website, this is a real show-- I am not kidding. This is a show that follows people who make balloon animal "creations". It's not a contest, there is no big winner.
Seriously?
Or did it?? The Unpoppables. According to the TLC website, this is a real show-- I am not kidding. This is a show that follows people who make balloon animal "creations". It's not a contest, there is no big winner.
Seriously?
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Tweeting Dry Cleaner
As I was on my way back home this morning, I was driving on Laurel Canyon to avoid the traffic on the 101. For those of you outside the Los Angeles area, yes- there is traffic coming into Hollywood on Saturday morning. There is ALWAYS traffic headed into Hollywood on the 101. While I was headed west on Laurel Canyon, I passed a dry cleaners. This appears to be one of those old Hollywood locations- its probably been there for a hundred years (when it was a corner store or something). On the marquee (you heard me right) the message the dry cleaners would like you to know that you may find them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter. Why would I follow a dry cleaner on Twitter? What is Twitter? I have heard the lingo and I have a general ideal of what it is, but I think that technology has gone a bit too far. I don't really care what the dry cleaners is doing moment to moment. Come to think about it, I don't know if I care what anyone is doing from moment to moment. Now, don't get me wrong- I care about the overall scheme of what my loved ones are doing, and that is why I call them and talk to them on the telephone. I don't envision myself being kept awake at night wondering what I missed from the dry cleaner's tweet.
Technology is a lot like high school. I joined Facebook about a year after everyone else already had a zillion friends. And just like high school, I found my self wrapped up in finding the clever status lines and racing to sign up more and more friends. I find my self hoping to be "friended" by people who didn't like me in high school- yet there am I- hoping that we can be "friends". Hell, I am friends with people I don't even know! So when someone chooses not to be my friend, it's like high school all over again. Facebook is all of the embarrassing things on record-- and Farmville reminds me of the Valentine's suckers that we used to spend $1 on to send to our friends in middle school. Gosh, I hope I get a farmville (JUST KIDDIN-- it's the best analogy I can think of). And then there was Twitter. Now I can follow any one of a million people while they wait to get their coffee... or wait at a stoplight (isn't texting while driving illegal?) I clog because it forces me to write- something I actually like to do. I don't know that anyone is reading- that's not really the point of my blog...
So what, then, is the point of Twitter? I get the point of the dry cleaners, but not the point of Twitter, and certainly not the dry cleaner on Twitter.
Technology is a lot like high school. I joined Facebook about a year after everyone else already had a zillion friends. And just like high school, I found my self wrapped up in finding the clever status lines and racing to sign up more and more friends. I find my self hoping to be "friended" by people who didn't like me in high school- yet there am I- hoping that we can be "friends". Hell, I am friends with people I don't even know! So when someone chooses not to be my friend, it's like high school all over again. Facebook is all of the embarrassing things on record-- and Farmville reminds me of the Valentine's suckers that we used to spend $1 on to send to our friends in middle school. Gosh, I hope I get a farmville (JUST KIDDIN-- it's the best analogy I can think of). And then there was Twitter. Now I can follow any one of a million people while they wait to get their coffee... or wait at a stoplight (isn't texting while driving illegal?) I clog because it forces me to write- something I actually like to do. I don't know that anyone is reading- that's not really the point of my blog...
So what, then, is the point of Twitter? I get the point of the dry cleaners, but not the point of Twitter, and certainly not the dry cleaner on Twitter.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Ice Ice Baby
You all know that I am a reality TV whore. I am not ashamed- I watch reality TV almost exclusively. Survivor---YAY Fabio! Hoarders..suddenly my house doesn't look so messy. Basketball-- of course- and those of you who think that sports isn't reality TV- I am here to tell you that there is just as much drama..where/when will Melo go? What of my beloved Nugs? Tabitha's Salon Takeover....really- a stripper pole in a salon? Where oh where is Shear Genius when you need it? HGTV- need I say more? The Bachelor (YES, I still watch it); The Sing Off-- which is the first musical reality show I have watched in years....because as much of a whore as I am, I still have standards and WILL NOT watch Dancing/Skating with the Stars (see previous blogs) or American Idol. But I will watch Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew, Teen Mom, When Vacations Attack and I Survived...and almost anything else on NGTV or the Discovery Channel (where are the Ice Road Truckers and the Deadliest Catch?)... And let us not forget the Real Housewives....of any given city. It's like watching a train wreck!
But...that being said.....HGTV is now on my shit list. Though it is not a surprise that when Vanilla Ice's "career" (AIR QUOTES) tanked (which also was not a shocker) that he could be found working in the construction industry; I don't want to see how he "renovates" houses. I figure that there are several reasons that he may have opted to go into the construction business--- one is that he is covered with tattoos. I LOVE tattoos- I happen to have a couple and am saving for another one--- but I am not sleeved. When one decides to become sleeved he is making a definitive decision to limit his career path. For instance, a doctor will likely not be sleeved, nor will a lawyer, nor will a senator. A basketball player...yes--football player- maybe; but much more likely a construction worker or a "Medical" pot shop owner. But I really am not finding myself wanting to watch Vanilla Ice fix up a house....are you? Come on people- we need standards....even in the Reality TV arena. I thought we were moving in the right directions when Kate + Eight hit the shitter-- but I was wrong.....
So I beg of you- Reality TV God- give me something REALLY good to take place of Vanilla Ice construction.....I feel like this is the cross roads...I don't want to be watching Bel Biv Devoe Bakery......yikers.
But...that being said.....HGTV is now on my shit list. Though it is not a surprise that when Vanilla Ice's "career" (AIR QUOTES) tanked (which also was not a shocker) that he could be found working in the construction industry; I don't want to see how he "renovates" houses. I figure that there are several reasons that he may have opted to go into the construction business--- one is that he is covered with tattoos. I LOVE tattoos- I happen to have a couple and am saving for another one--- but I am not sleeved. When one decides to become sleeved he is making a definitive decision to limit his career path. For instance, a doctor will likely not be sleeved, nor will a lawyer, nor will a senator. A basketball player...yes--football player- maybe; but much more likely a construction worker or a "Medical" pot shop owner. But I really am not finding myself wanting to watch Vanilla Ice fix up a house....are you? Come on people- we need standards....even in the Reality TV arena. I thought we were moving in the right directions when Kate + Eight hit the shitter-- but I was wrong.....
So I beg of you- Reality TV God- give me something REALLY good to take place of Vanilla Ice construction.....I feel like this is the cross roads...I don't want to be watching Bel Biv Devoe Bakery......yikers.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
F*CK YOU 2010
I am so glad 2010 is over. While not my worst year ever (as most of you know, the year I moved to California was the WORST), 2010 was certainly not my favorite year. I am so glad that year came to an end.
Let's recap the crap- briefly--
1. In a stroke of luck or a kick to the head (depending on how you look at it) I lost my job. Again. Some would say I should have been relieved, because who wants to walk into an office where your boss says you look like "a homeless bag lady who needs to go on a diet" and who screams for the sales person to pull his head out of his ass; all the while cheating EVERYTHING- the union, the workers, customers- anything to put another dollar into his pocket. I felt some relief to get away from the abuse, but also had a wave of terror come over me that last about 3 months. How would I pay rent? And why....why was I in this position again? This job loss came after two previous "eliminated position and/or companies". I had done all the right things- gone to college, worked hard, and there I was- finding myself in my early 30's without a job-AGAIN. And, I was without a job in the worst economic atmosphere the country had seen since the Great Depression. AWESOME.
2. I had nothing but brief encounters with men who treat me poorly. For some reason I am not worth a call in the morning, or anyone remembering my birthday, or being treated with respect. I find myself grasping with the very real possibilty that I may be alone. I may not find the man of my dreams- it's lonely.
3. I gained 25 pounds this year.
4. I have more consumer debt this year than I have had in over a decade. Again, AWESOME!
So- I rest my case.....FUCK YOU 2010!
Let's recap the crap- briefly--
1. In a stroke of luck or a kick to the head (depending on how you look at it) I lost my job. Again. Some would say I should have been relieved, because who wants to walk into an office where your boss says you look like "a homeless bag lady who needs to go on a diet" and who screams for the sales person to pull his head out of his ass; all the while cheating EVERYTHING- the union, the workers, customers- anything to put another dollar into his pocket. I felt some relief to get away from the abuse, but also had a wave of terror come over me that last about 3 months. How would I pay rent? And why....why was I in this position again? This job loss came after two previous "eliminated position and/or companies". I had done all the right things- gone to college, worked hard, and there I was- finding myself in my early 30's without a job-AGAIN. And, I was without a job in the worst economic atmosphere the country had seen since the Great Depression. AWESOME.
2. I had nothing but brief encounters with men who treat me poorly. For some reason I am not worth a call in the morning, or anyone remembering my birthday, or being treated with respect. I find myself grasping with the very real possibilty that I may be alone. I may not find the man of my dreams- it's lonely.
3. I gained 25 pounds this year.
4. I have more consumer debt this year than I have had in over a decade. Again, AWESOME!
So- I rest my case.....FUCK YOU 2010!
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