OMG- I WAS that kid....

I have come to a frightening realization. I was that kid.....

You know what I am talking about. The kid who talks like a grown up-- yup, that was me. I can remember when I was young that I wanted to have conversations with my friend's moms. Sheesh. I was a freak! I was that kid who wasn't shy....NEVER shy. This one time, when I was about 4 or so, I remember going to The Black Angus restaurant. Now, this was quite the event for a child to go to a fancy restaurant (by mid-western standards anyhow) in the early 80's. We were just at the tail end of the disco era and the restaurant had a bona-fide dance floor. This was straight out of Saturday Night Fever with the disco ball, the lighting up tiles on the floor and mirror walls. So, of course, needing to be the center of attention, I decided that I would dance. Not that I am particularly a good dancer--- I can't carry rhythm in a basket. But, I decided that I needed to dance. And to what song, you may ask? Ahhh....the coup de graw- Eye of the Tiger. That was a BRILLIANT SONG. Survivor ROCKS! Wow, someone really should have put me out of my misery.

I was the kid who didn't practice the best hygiene. When I was in grade school, we would eat dinner and then I would take my mom's little TV up to the bathroom and watch Life Goes On while I took a bath. Oh Corky, how I admire you so. I would eat a heaping bowl of ice cream while sitting in my own filth in the bathtub. And I didn't even wash my hair! I was a little too lazy for hair washing. I think that is why I had a cross between Dorthy Hammil and boy hair until I was 11! I would bounce on the couch. This is where I would sit on the couch and rock myself- forward then back, then forward then back. It was rhythmic to me, and I loved it. I did it all the time. Now, I just have restless leg syndrome (can you even believe they have a name for that?) You would think that because I was such a spaz, I would have been a really skinny kid. Not the case. I was that kid who was a little on the heavy side, very bossy, a know it all and not afraid to tell you about it, a liar (or exaggerator as people would say). I can't even believe that the laws of darwanism didn't kick in with me being beaten by my classmates because I WAS THAT KID!

So, I look back on these things and wonder-- why did I feel compelled to wear the same sweatshirt to school prolly 10 days in a row? And believe me, I did....I didn't see what the problem was. I was the kid who never truly brushed her hair. One time, I tried to brush my hair with a roller brush....YIKES. It got so stuck in my hair that my mom had to cut it out! What a disaster that was. Talk about no patience, having to be in charge, the center of attention. So insecure you could see it surrounding me like a blanket; hence the projection of me needing the most attention.

It's strange to look back at yourself as a kid. I was annoying, I was a spaz, a know it all, a busybody. But, I think that I wanted what we all want. I wanted friends, and to be wanted. I always was the center of a lot of jokes. Fat jokes a plenty ( I guess all those bowls of ice cream while learning life lessons from Corky backfired)! There was a time in middle school when one of the "popular" girls (aka bitch) called me and invited me to go to the fun park with her. I was THRILLED. I asked my mom and got directions over to her house.....and then my mom took me over. I knocked on the door and was a nervous wreck. No one answered. Then I saw the girl and her friends looking out at me from a window and laughing at me. I guess I was the center of attention that day- I was the butt of the joke.

But (no pun intended) I persevered. I may be single, but I am in control. I have sole control of the thermostat, the remote control and most importantly- the whiskey! Allison will appreciate this- I was hungry in the middle of the night last night- so I made bacon--- because I could! So, though I was that kid- I have grown up-- oh shit--- I am THAT adult now???? Crap- though there are worse things that being a spinster with the hopes of many, many cats!