The Road More Traveled....we are RE-TAR-DED.

Everyone knows the Octo-mom, right?

She just got a house.

In Southern California.

Without a job.

I have come to the conclusion that I have led a HUGELY misguided life. I made the mistake of choosing the path more traveled, and it has been erroneous, and the octo-mom is emblematic of my epic failures. When I was in high school I was not popular, nor well liked as I was (am) on the smarter side of things, a bit chubby and VERY outspoken, all of which don't fly too well in the average public American high school. I decided to weather the storm and stay on the path I chose. I had a job. I paid for most of my own way. On prom night, I was at work, then I went home to finish homework. I would get more excited than normal when I had a paper to write on Native Son or The Awakening. My friends and I were the butt of some others jokes, but we had our own way and it made us feel better to imagine life as an adult. When we were grown ups we would have accelerated passed the bums in life. The bums were the people who would look back on high school as the best years of their lives. YEAH RIGHT! We would have high paying jobs, our outer beauty would finally reflect the inside. We would have meaningful relationships, find success in family lives, remain healthy and age gracefully. This is how life would be right, for it was so unfair in high school.

Many people will think back to their high school days and rather than remembering a single event, they will remember a string of events woven together to create an experience. Of course there were good times, great times, "character building" times. But there were also times when I began to understand the inequities, and that life might not balance in the future. I thought that hard work, good grades, staying out of trouble and being an all around good kid would be rewarded upon graduation. I figured I had worked so hard all of high school I would receive a college scholarship and be able to attend a good college which had some discriminating entrance standards. Man, oh man, was I wrong. My error in thoughts crystalized immediately before the graduation ceremony where the school brought together all of the honor students and those who had won scholarships or fellowships for a celebration. I felt special and rewarded, until I looked around and saw the company I kept. Sure, there were the REALLY smart kids- those valedictorians and those kids whocould actually grasp the idea of an imaginary number. There were kids who understood IT, and who dreamt of being a CFO or an engineer. Those kids, I saluted. They were hard working and along with me, missed the pep rally's and prom. But there were other kids, one girl in particular who stood out to me. When her name was called, I was stunned.

Let's call her Sally (NOT her real name). We all remember the trouble makers from school, and since I was born and raised in the same school district, I had known most of the kids all of my life. This was not an exception. I knew this girl, rather, OF this girl, for years. She had been one of the faceless many who had excelled in soccer (WTF) and who took the average classes, had a boyfriend, and was cruel to those of us who were not good at soccer (again, WTF????). There were a slew of these girls, and we all remember when the first of the herd became pregnant. We might expect this to happen at 16, 17, or 18; she found herself knocked up at 14 (could have been 13). She had her baby at the beginning of 9th grade. So flash forward to 12th grade and she was also receiving an award at the ceremony I was attending. They began to call out scholarships and awards, and with each we clapped and smiled as our fellow nerds hopped on the stage and glowed in their minute of reward. I worked my butt off, kept down a job, and was thrilled when I managed to graduate in the top 5% of my class with a PARTIAL scholarship to a local but reputable school.

I expected the athletes to win scholarships; that is the age old story. But Sally won a full ride to a state school; because of her strenght in keeping her baby and managing to stay in school. Wow- so a valuable lesson for me to learn- Don't get a job; don't take honors classes, CERTAINLY don't get nearly straight A's....instead if you want help paying for school; get knocked up at 14 and display your bravery by letting your mom raise your baby while you are an asshole on the soccer field and attend all school functions.

And now, the octo-mom. No job, 14 children (it's a vagina, not a clown car lady!); not married, lived with her mom, whose house just went into foreclosure; this is the tale of a woman who just received a house in Southern California. What the hell have I been doing all of these years-going to work every day, paying my own rent, paying my own bills, and not intentionally having 14 children and intending to pay with them from student loan money (which I wouldn't qualify for anyhow because I am employed and as such earn too much money for the government to donate money too).....and because I made these horrible decisions to be responsible, it's high school all over again. Here I sit, on my couch, ALONE, paying too much rent for a too small apartment and getting ready to hit they hay at 9:00 at night because I have to get up early to go to WORK. Obviously the wrong choice....

For those of you who are out there and who have chosen the road more traveled and led quiet, unintruding and uninteresting lives because you are trying to find another job to pay for the rent because you know you will never be able to afford a house even though you have no off spring nor a significant other....etc etc etc....I salute you.

I wonder if I am too old to have a gaggle of kids?????