We are approcahing another Valentine's Day, and I am preparing the do it alone. Again. Still.
So I have decided rather than being upset about being alone on the day celebrating love that I would think about all of the things that I love and send them a little love in this- my first blog in a REALLY long time. As much as I would like V-Day to be about romance, and about someone sending me gifts and making me feel special....maybe that will come next year. For now, let me talk about what I love, and those things that I want to make feel special.
Was that even proper English? Doesn't matter.
The point is this- I wish that I was still in elementary school so I could make Valentine's for all my friends and put them in the homemade mailboxes we would have hung on our desks. I would spend time the night before, with a list of all of the kids in the class, and I would sign my name on each card, check the recipient's name off of the list, and then move onto the next. It is very likely that while doing the Valentine's cards I would have one of those small boxes with the candy hearts in them. You know the little hearts with the words written on them. This is before the days of "tweet me" being on a heart. I would be picking through all of the hearts eating all of the orange ones, then maybe the green, and the yellow....and then, at the end of the night, the white ones. Here are three of the Valentines I would send.
If I had those awesome Charlie Brown Valentines- or maybe even Strawberry Shortcake Valentine's, this blog is all about who I would give them to.
1. The producers of The Bachelor. I love them for continually picking women to be on this show who are mental trainwrecks. This is awesome, and makes me feel so complete to watch this show and see women who have clearly spent their young years doing sit ups and learning how to apply so much makeup that the skin on their faces ever sees actual daylight that they never had the chance to develop actual personalities. I think it's funny that as much as everyone is laying arounbd the pool sipping cocktails and doing their nails, and no one is reading a book. NEVER ONCE have I seen a person on the show reading a book. Maybe they don't know how to read? So, to the producers of the Bachelor- you get the first rose...er...valentine of the evening!
2. The staff at the LA City Pound where I found my Miss Tallulah Bankhead. My Lula was in a cage, in the sick ward, with a pit bull puppy when I saw her sleeping in her littler box. She was so small and when I picked her up, she was clearly not well. But the moment I held her and felt her little heart beating and she looked up at me with her weepy eyes, I was trapped. When you adopt an animal from the shelter, they always do an inspection on the pet. They took her from me and she was gone for a long time. Eventually the vet came out and had a chat with me. He told me that she had been found alone- and she was about 4 months old. She had some issues though. She had pink eye, fleas, ear mites, an ear infection, an upper respitory infection, ringwork and a huge nodule between her shoulder blades, and finally, they told me she had tapeworm. Then they asked if I still wanted her....really? Of course I still wanted her! I took her home, and she has had some issues. She was on medicine for about the first 3 months I had her. There were ear drops, eye drops, pills, creams.... good GOD. She will turn 6 this year (can that be right?) and she is the single most amazing cat that ever lived (sorry Ilsa, it's true). She goes on a leash, like me to hold her like a baby and go around the house so she can smell in all the corners and the ceiling, she fetches, AND she sits on command. I have the video! So, I would like to send a Valentine to the staff at the shelter for keeping this Hindenberg of a cat alive long enough for me to find her and for her to adopt me. She, and Ilsa, are the love of my life!!!
3. See's Candy- you get my Valentine because you don't have a store close to me. I could eat See's chocolate all day every day. I could go to bed sucking those caramel lollipops and wake up to eat the Chocolate Bordeaux candies. While I was growing up, I had a slow metabolism. Now that I am 35 and I am no longer growing up but am growing out, I have concluded that my metabolism has actually reversed. I have gained weight just thinking about the wonderful, heavenly deliciousness of See's candy. Odddly enough, I would like to send a Valentine's card to See's Candy. I will always love you....you will always comfort me.
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